Singleness is next to godliness

 Just yesterday, I saw a couple fighting in the mall. The guy hit the woman really hard in the face with his fist. The woman cried terribly. She was dragged to a corner. Their young kid just watched them innocently. What a scene. I could tell you that. I’ve never seen such a violent combat done in public, well of course there’s Eminem’s music video, but in real life and in public? It was too much for me. I pity the woman because she really is beautiful but quite stupid hanging around with a jerk like that when she knows she deserves someone better. She’s better off single. It was obviously the newest form of self flagellation.

These are the times I thank God I am single.
I’ve been single for almost a month now. The moment the last guy I was with broke up with me (yeah, yeah he ended it, so what?) I shouted like Mel Gibson in Braveheart “FREEDOM!” in my head.

It’s quite liberating to finally have to decide on things. It feels great to choose what I wanna wear. It feels good to redecorate my bedroom as I want to. My own bathroom.  My own money. It feels good to walk in a mall alone without anyone looking at me then turning their eyes on him like they were trying to say  ”what is this gurl thinking?”. You know, the they-don’t-look-good-together-look.  It feels exciting just saying “NEXT” or who’s gonna get the House and Goddess Showcase this time.

It feels good to finally realize that loving myself first should be the first rule in a relationship. Believe me, you’d fall flat in the face if you lose yourself for someone then later on be confronted with the truth that he’s just not that into you.

So then you ask, “then how do you deal with lonely nights”. Well girl, there are lonely cold nights. Too many of them, I lost count already. But here’s what I think. Better have lonely nights alone than have nights with a man who doesn’t give a damn about what kinda day you had. Worse, sleep beside a guy snoring and hitting you at the same time . Because the minute you turn commitment into an excuse for just having someone beside you, that’s not love, that’s mere dependency and desperation. And I’m just too hot, classy and amazing to be desperate.

Running after you in the rain just ain’t my style anymore

I choose to leave you.

It was just this morning that I realized that I was so tired.

It wasn’t because of the work load for today.

It wasn’t because I have a bad hangover.

It wasn’t because I had to finish my script till 2 am.

It was because I snapped.

I was too tired of arguments.

Too tired of explaining myself.

Too tired of apologizing.

Too tired of being blamed.

Too tired of waiting in vain for nothing.

Too tired of being hurt.

If loving someone would mean

Chaos, complications and sleepless nights

Then I rebuff.

Better to be alone at night

Better to wake up not thinking about anyone anymore.

I refuse to be enslaved.

I refuse to be taken for granted.

I refused to be chained.

I refused to be pinned down to the ground.

I am just too tired…and I’m giving you up…for good!